Getting married in America today is no small expense. In fact, TheKnot.com’s 2015 Real Wedding Survey, which polled over 18,000 real couples who wed last year, found that the average cost to say “I do” has risen to an all-time high of $32,641. But wedding couples are not the only ones shelling out the big bucks. In fact, according to a separate survey, this one conducted by American Express, the average wedding guest plans to spend $703 each time they attend a wedding in 2016. For millennials, that cost is even higher, at $893 per event.
Going to a wedding today is often just as expensive for a guest as it is for members of the bridal party – they report spending $743 on average, $928 for Millennials. And given the overall expenses paid by the couples themselves this isn’t even really that shocking. However, for people on a tight budget, particularly young people and families, the cost of being in attendance for one of the biggest days in a loved one’s life, may not be feasible without credit cards and other bad spending choices.
Fortunately, there are ways to reduce the cost to attend a wedding that are not at all cheap. In fact, by making calculated, frugal choices and planning ahead, you can easily attend any wedding, look your best and even give a great gift, for significantly less than that $700 average. Here’s how you can save on each of the three major spending categories for wedding guests: clothing, gifts, and travel/lodging.
Save Money on Wedding Clothes
When it comes to priorities, what you wear should rank low on the scale of “must-have” wedding expenses. That is, unless you are in the wedding party, in which case the decision is out of your hands. However, looking and feeling great at a wedding is still important. Luckily, there are ways to still do both without spending hundreds of dollars on a new outfit for every occasion:
Men
If you haven’t already, invest in a nice suit or tux that you can wear as a standard to any affair. Which one you buy will depend on your lifestyle, friends, and family members, but the suit, at least, is a solid and important investment for any man, regardless. The same thing goes for a good pair of dress shoes. Invest in them and then wear them every time.
To save money on this investment, hit up sales and use coupons at department stores like Macy’s or even formalwear specialists like Jos. A. Bank and Men’s Warehouse. During wedding and graduation seasons, these retailers will often feature BOGO deals which you can even split with a friend (one suit for each of you at half price) or add in shirts, ties, and other accessories with the suit at a free or discounted rate.
Women
Formal dressing for women is a bit more complicated than it is for men. However, you can use a similar strategy with a well-cut, but neutral-colored dress in black, grey, or navy. Simply use accessories to change the overall look of the dress and to take it from formal (pearls and pumps) to casual (a statement necklace and sandals). Just like men, investing in these sort of staple items for your wardrobe will save you money over time.
Alternately, especially for women with only one wedding to attend, consider renting clothes instead of buying them. Services such as Rent the Runway and Gwynne Bee offer women of all shapes and sizes the ability to rent high-quality, even designer clothing for as little as $50. Also, new members to these services can usually get an additional discount, which may make this the perfect option for that one, special event you have coming up. These services also offer accessory rental which can be combined with a rented dress or the aforementioned staple wardrobe items for a more cost-effective, yet stylish look.
Save Money on Wedding Gifts
Figuring out what to give a couple, or how much to spend on a gift, is often the biggest challenge wedding guests face. Gone are the days of trying to pay for your attendance (it’s too hard to figure out anyway). Furthermore, since more and more young people are living together before marriage and as the age of brides and grooms continues to rise, household goods and other essentials for independent life are no longer needed. Couples already have everything they need to make a “home” and are more desperate to recuperate funds after spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding. In fact, more than 50% of couples in the American Express survey said that cash (or check) is their preferred wedding gift.
However, there are no rules about what you can or should give. Physical gifts, particularly if the couple is registered, are still more than acceptable, as are gift cards, both of which are easy to save on through the use of online shopping, cost comparing and coupons. For reference’s sake, keeping in mind about how much, on average, others spend can help you budget for a gift. However, remember, these numbers represent value, which is not necessarily the same as cost:
- $179 for a close family member
- $119 for a close friend
- $114 on a relative
- $79 on a friend
- $66 on a coworker
Should You Try to Save on a Wedding Gift?
Etiquette experts all agree that when it comes to wedding gifts, giving what you can is more important than meeting a certain dollar threshold. So, when it comes to simply saving money (not budgeting because you have no other choice) the gift may not be the best place to cut back.
For those without the funds to give a gift at all, however, alternatives such as homemade and sentimental items or donating time and services are something you can consider, especially if you are close to the couple. Otherwise, explaining the situation and then writing a heartfelt note with a small gift is another option that most people will understand and accept with open arms.
Save Money on Wedding Travel and Lodging
For many wedding guests, actually getting to the wedding itself is one of the most expensive and challenging aspects of their attendance. This is also, thankfully, one of the areas where it is easy to save and cut back, since the only one it affects is you. When it comes to travel, consider flight times that are “off peak” for a cheaper fare such as early morning or red eye flights. Travel on slow days such as Tuesday and save travel rewards points leading up to the date. Also, look into buses and trains. Sometimes a bus ride will take just as long as a flight (once you calculate the time to get to and from the airport, collect baggage, etc.) at a fraction of the cost.
When it comes to lodging, many couples will reserve rooms at a particular hotel at a reduced rate. However, this price is not necessarily the best in town. Look into other places nearby using travel sites and (again) save up those credit card rewards. Depending on the area, consider using Airbnb for a more affordable option that may be a bit farther from the venue. Staying with family and friends is also an option, of course, but it may be hard if they are going to the wedding as well, since you will, doubtless, not be the only one asking to stay.
Finally, if you are attending a destination wedding, realize that this is the one and only time where giving less of a gift is really okay. Couples understand how much of an effort it is to get to the wedding in the first place and will often see the gift of your presence (and another small token) as enough in this case.
Remember, Frugal Is NOT Cheap
Weddings are some of the most memorable and joyous experiences of our lives. However, just as the cost to have one has steadily increased over the past decade, so, too, as the cost of attendance. Sometimes, politely declining an invitation (particularly if you are not close to the couple) is the most cost effective strategy to take.
However, if this is not the case, planning ahead, budgeting, and being honest with the couple about your financial situation is the most important thing to do. Taking steps to save money in this regard is not cheap. Done correctly, with honesty and etiquette in mind, it is a frugal choice that can benefit everyone involved.
